This morning I was thinking about a professor I had at Regent College, Bob Ekblad. He taught a class I took called “Reading the Bible with the Damned” (now a book). Bob studies the Bible with inmates at a jail where he lives in Burlington, Washington. He works to show these men that Jesus delights in them, no matter what they have done. Bob prays for the men and they often experience physical and emotional healing from Mother God.
Ever since I took his class, I’ve secretly wanted to do these Bible studies, too. But I haven’t. It’s been a trust issue, in God and in myself. We’ve been thinking about moving to a nearby town that houses a couple of thousand men in a medium-security prison, and so I was thinking again about doing Bible studies, whether with the men or any other group in town that especially needs to understand God’s love for them.
This afternoon, I noticed one of Bob’s e-letters in my inbox. He tells the story of being in San Francisco with his wife, on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit). A homeless man was giving a speech, loud and agitated. Bob tried to block him out and work on a speech of his own on his laptop. Every one around him was tuned out. The homeless man spoke: “Look at all of you, hiding behind your laptops and newspapers, shutting me out with your ear buds and iPhones. Why can’t you just acknowledge me by looking at me? I am not going away, and neither are the 10,000 other homeless people here in San Francisco who suffer on the streets. All of the homeless shelters are filled and I have no place to sleep tonight.“
Finally Bob “felt compelled” to go and talk to the man, which led to Bob buying him a meal. Bob’s wife, Gracie, noticed and prayed with power for the man’s injured feet.
I’ve also always wanted to be ready to follow compulsions. As an introvert, I push my “caution” button a lot. I guess it is a holdover from cave-people times when folks like me kept the rest of the clan alive sometimes, with a cautious “wait” or “stop.”
But in the 21st century, my caution button usually just keeps me paralyzed when there is a spiritual risk I need to take, a compulsion I should not inhibit. I was thinking and praying about my desire to follow inner knowings and wondering how I could picture God in such a way that I felt protected taking God-led risks. What came to mind was my blog post about the toddler going out of the house with her mom, rather than going out alone.
I could choose to envision Mama-God going in front of me or holding my hand. I could hide behind Her if I need to, but the point is to go with Her, not stay behind.
I want to follow my impulsive-desires-to-love like they are Mother God Herself, knowing I’m never alone.
What do you want to do that you could see yourself doing with Mother God by your side?